Sandwich cookies and boxed wine.
Welcome to my Monday night, people.
2
And
And everything that was so uniquely you has been lost here—you’ve rearranged and denied all of those things that you once held so dear.
And you’re not you anymore.
And we both know that this is not the life you wanted.
A good woman will pick you apart
A box full of suggestions for your possible heart
But you may be offended and you may be afraid
But don’t walk away, don’t walk away
I was up all night with a puking 3-year-old, managed to get 3 hours of sleep before I had to take my biology final. My personal life is crazy as shit right now and I’m just tired—my mind is tired, my body is tired, and my heart is tired.
What are you doing, Maygen?
What are you doing with your life?
Taking selfies on the sofa, I suppose.
The latest addition to our family. We are still thinking of a name for her, any suggestions?
My son rules
I just noticed the cat barfed on one of my shoes that I’m wearing. I guess it’s going to be that kind of day.
Yesterday
9/26/2010 was the day that I first kissed my love. It was the day that I knew my feelings weren’t silly, and that I wasn’t getting carried away with the excitement of being adored from a distance. See, he lived in Florida and I was here in Utah. We had met on tumblr, moved to texting and phone calls, eventually started skyping, and after months of crazy feelings, he decided to fly out to see me. 9/26/2010 was the day I picked him up from the airport. It’s the day I knew I had found my partner in life.
It doesn’t feel like it’s been two years, it feels like it’s been longer and shorter all at the same time. Our love still feels new; he still takes my breath away, makes me giddy, and showers me with love and affection daily; and yet we know each other completely, there are no secrets, nothing we can’t share.
He has helped me become a better person. He made me feel okay about being me, about the problems I have. He sees me the way I really am and he still loves and accepts me.
Before him, I always felt loved on contingency. If I could just do this, or be that, then I would be worthy.
I’m a lucky lady to have such an amazing, caring, strong, smart, funny, beautiful, and all out amazing man in my life.
I love you, Nestor
Unhealthy Habits
In crisis, I usually do one of two things: either obsess to the point of insanity, or block it out completely. It’s usually the latter. I feel so angry most of the time. It’s probably all of those feelings I never felt seeping through in small bursts of unreasonable rage during traffic jams or when my cat licks her ass by my face while I’m trying to sleep.
But every couple of months I’ll start to think about it all and I’ll have a good hard cry.
Tonight I’ll forget she ever existed.
Until the next time she creeps back into my thoughts.
Oh yeah
and the cold medicine, too.
whoa, dude.
